cinco nuevo

Considering that I grew up on, well, not-health food (frozen dinners and take-out were daily occurences), it continually surprises me that I enjoy cooking. In the last two days, I have made five new recipes!

Thursday night for dinner we started off with the best Spinach-Artichoke Dip I've honestly ever had. I served it up with raw zucchini and red bell peppers and we feasted. I also made these Maple Chicken Strips. The marinade was radically simple, but I much preferred them grilled, not baked as the recipe suggests.

John decided to go downtown for a show, so I tried my hand at a Zucchini Nut Bread recipe that I'd been eying. It's different really than anything I've had. John says he almost prefers it to the Pumpkin Cranberry, but ... that's a bold statement in my book.

Hot off my success from Thursday and knowing I didn't need to mope around all evening alone while John was in Houston, I found this recipe for Earl Grey & Chocolate Pots de Creme and knew I had to try it. I've made it a goal to venture out and try new, more complex recipes. Seeing as this involved baking in ramekins in a pan filled with boiling water - I thought that was a good place to start. Unfamiliar processes. Turns out, the prep was so miraculously easy that it really surprised me. And the pouring of boiling water into the pan wasn't as terrifying as it seems. I put the pan in the oven first, pulled out the rack a bit and poured straight in.

This recipe just called for egg yolks. Rather than breaking them over the sink and discarding the whites, I used two separate bowls. I didn't realize this would be a good thing until I was just about to pour out the egg whites when, WAIT! There are other recipes that call for egg whites. So I found this recipe, luckily had everything on-hand and thus made a double batch of Chocolate-Coconut Haystacks. Yum!

Note to self: Find camera charger and start taking pictures. Just linking to boring recipes is really no fun...

Note to readers: I've just discovered that several of these recipes are also gluten-free. But for those that aren't on any dietary restrictions, just because these recipes are from Atkins and are 'low-carb' or 'gluten-free' doesn't mean you can't enjoy them, too! Take the concept and serve with pasta or on a sandwich. There really are endless options.

♥

kh

forward's the only way to go

Since I can remember, I've been easily influenced by outside people and forces. John could tell me I'm beautiful and talented each day, every day, multiple times a day. But if I were to see or hear one source say otherwise, all his work of building me up would be crushed in an instant.

A good, real example comes to mind: As each school year came to a close, my teacher(s) would always say how important the materials were and how hard the next year was going to be. I would get a gut-twisting, sinking feeling ... How am I going to do that? I can't handle writing a FIVE-PARAGRAPH paper! ...(five years later)... In SPANISH! But then summer would pass, the new year would begin and I would find my stride and excel with truly little struggle at all.

Another example: I landed an interview with a huge PR firm in Austin just before we moved. I looked them up, read up on the position and convinced myself I wasn't qualified. Then I went to the interview, hit it off incredibly well and ended up being told they felt I was overqualified and would get bored with the job.

So how is it that I still lack confidence in myself? I can self-doubt my way with the best of them, despite my accomplishments thus far.

Here's the thing. With school, the coming year was inevitable. Unstoppable. I had to learn to deal with it because the work was coming no matter what. But now? As an adult - I actually have to step out and make things happen for myself. I have to become a doer. And being a doer isn't so easy for a self-doubter who will find and focus on every possible tiny negative, somehow overlooking the glaringly obvious positive.

I guess, all this to say. I have a lot on my mind. Ideas. Dreams. Goals. I definitely have the best support any person could ask for, but still I doubt myself. How is it you find the courage to make your dreams a reality?

♥

kh

Here's to the New Year

It's no surprise - I fell off the blogging bandwagon. But something that may be a surprise? I'm still living low-carb. I started at the end of April, and here it is 2011, still going strong. Sure, I've lightened up a bit. Who couldn't over the holidays? But now I'm honing in on the goal.

01/04/11
Bust: 39"
Waist: 32"
Stomach: 36"
Hips: 40"
Thighs: 23"
Arms: 12"
Weight: 147 lbs

I've of course fluctuated between today and July back when I made it to my three-month weigh-in. At one point, I dipped a shallow toe into the 139s, but that was short-lived. However, considering I've begun to reintroduce certain carbs, ate far too many holiday treats and allow myself to a glass of wine (or two) on a regular basis, I'd say holding steady ain't bad!

But, a goal is a goal and I'm going to get there. I know how to get there. I have the knowledge, the willpower and the drive to do it. 135, here I come!

So, that's that for Resolution: Hit Goal Weight. As for the others for 2011, I have Resolution: Do More Fun Stuff. Oh yeah ... We moved to Austin! So now that we are in a new city where one could never truly use the words "There is nothing to doooo" I have made it a personal goal to not use those words or "I'm bored." Any Austinites have some "must-do"s to share? I want to embrace this fun city, enjoy time with my husband and friends.

And then there's Resolution: Knock Out Debt which I have high hopes for this year. We're serious and are already making progress. Lastly, there is Resolution: Take a Vacation. John and I haven't been on a vacation since our honeymoon. We plan to book a trip either for our two-year anniversary in May or around our birthdays. I'd love to go somewhere I've never been before, but the all-inclusive resorts in the Caribbean are really hard to beat when on a budget. Suggestions are welcome on this front!

A few other goals for 2011: take/post/tweet more pictures. Start making button flowers. Try more difficult-sounding recipes. And I may have another surprise or two up my sleeve. Stay tuned - who really knows what 2011 has in store!

Speaking of recipes, this became an instant favorite and it's been perfect for the holidays: Pumpkin Cranberry Muffins. I got tired of cleaning out my muffin pan each time, so last go-round I made it in a bread/loaf pan and it worked beautifully! (Just requires a bit longer bake time than muffin form.)

♥

k

three months in

I committed to start living low-carb on April 25. I took my three-month measurements on July 19 with big plans for my three-month update after some blood work that week.

07/19/10
Bust: 38.5"
Waist: 32"
Stomach: 36"
Hips: 39.5"
Thighs: 22.5"
Arms: 12"
Weight: 145.4 lbs

I'm still not sure why some of the measurements went up, but the scale keeps going down. Maybe it was my body foreshadowing what was to happen the next day. On July 20, my appendix decided to get inflamed and infected and thus had to be removed. After surgery, the nurses shoved fruit juice and crackers in my face and I consumed them. Going from low-carb to surgery to sugary juice and carby crackers was a whirlwind for my tummy. It was a rough patch but I'm back on track. Luckily the appendix hadn't ruptured and all is now well, but it definitely turned my world upside down for a few days.

I went in to visit my doctor after things settled down because I wanted to make sure that she supported my lifestyle change and to make sure the inner workings of my body match the outer appearance and the way I feel. All tests came back great - she ran a panel for electrolytes to make sure I'm still getting the nutrients I need as well as the lipid panel to check my cholesterol, triglycerides and liver function.

08/02/10
Weight: 145 lbs.
Cholesterol: 174
LDL: 88 HDL: 58
Triglycerides: 142

For those who don't know what these numbers represent, or how they fit in the spectrum ... First, take a look at the old numbers from April. A cholesterol total of under 200 is the goal, with LDL (the bad kind) coming in under 100. My LDL level months ago is what was making my cholesterol so high. You can see, my HDL didn't move much. And then Triglycerides surprised me a little - mine actually went up quite a bit. The normal or acceptable range is between 80 and 135, so I'm just barely over.

After visiting with my doctor and getting her feedback, I revisited the Atkins book to learn about Phase II. Turns out, I had already transitioned into Phase II more than I realized. It wasn't a constant thing, but I had started eating nuts and berries here and there, which are the first types of carbohydrates you begin to reintroduce to your diet after Phase I.

I am thoroughly enjoying where I am right now. I have a bit broader selection and I'm still losing. My doctor was astonished at my success in such a short time, had absolutely no problems with continuing to live low-carb, but said I should stop around 135 lbs. That is 5 lbs shy of my original goal, but if she says that is what is healthy for me, I will trust her judgment.

Atkins and low-carb living isn't for everyone, but I am a believer and am fully confident that it is what I needed to do and what I need to continue to do. I still feel great. Staring down a bowl of chips at a restaurant has gotten worlds easier.

I leave you with the recipe for my new favorite breakfast: Almost Muesli. The book suggests a few breakfast, snack and dessert options for each phase and they are all yummy, quick and easy. "This classic Swiss breakfast gets a low-carb update. Mix 2 Tbs flaxseed meal and 1 Tbs chopped almonds with 1/2 C plain Greek or low-carb yogurt. Add 1 packet Splenda and Cinnamon to taste. Top with berries if desired."

*I found organic flaxseed meal, Greek yogurt and organic blueberries at Drug Emporium. Me oh my, this is delicious! I'm ready for breakfast now!

♥
kh

check-in

*Looking back on the last few entries or ten, it appears that most posts start the same way. I should either post more or just quit apologizing and making excuses.

Shame on me. It's been one whole month without an update. I took my measurements at each two week mark, but neglected to share them. That's the whole point of this thing, I know. FAIL.

Let's get right to it.

06/13/10

Bust: 38.5"

Waist: 32"

Stomach: 37"

Hips: 40"

Thighs: 22.5"

Arms: 12"

Weight: 153.2 lbs

And now again!

06/29/10

Bust: 37"

Waist: 31.5"

Stomach: 37"

Hips: 39.5"

Thighs: 21.5"

Arms: 12"

Weight: 149.8 lbs

Your chin just dropped at the 1-4 digits? Mine too, I know. Granted, that's just 0.2 away from 150 ... Anyway, It's really been in this last month that I have physically noticed a change in the way my body feels to me. Does that make any sense? When you live in your own skin (doesn't everyone?), it's much more difficult to notice the subtle changes -- both good and bad.

Just in the same way I didn't wake up one day and weight 174 lbs. It happened gradually, but one day when my pants were so uncomfortable I wanted to cry and I saw a picture of myself that made me want to hide under a rock -- that's when my weight gain hit me in the face.

Well, now my weight loss has hit me in the face in the form of my clothes. As I was saying before, it's really been in these last few weeks that I am noticing that my body looks physically smaller. But it's the clothes that tell the story. Only one pair of jeans truly fit these days. (I'm really not sure how they made it, because I did force all 174 lbs of me into them on occasion -- surprised they didn't rip at the seems. Thank you, stretch denim!) So Mom bought me a new pair that I wore out to an event for work on June 12, (the smallest size I've bought since I can remember!) and now they are even sagging by the end of day.

But there's this dilemma ... when do you buy new clothes? When do you decide, "Out with the old, In with the new?" Because honestly, in the back of my head I still believe that I will need my bigger sized clothes at some point -- that point when I decide this isn't worth it; that I miss carbs and screw it. It's a bit terrifying because I've come so far. And then there's this other side of my brain saying, "There's still more to go! Yes, you've hit 149, but your goal is 130 lbs -- you're only halfway!" But once I get there, will I really stay there? Because honestly I'm thinking right now that I'm feeling pretty good where I stand. Maintaining a weight of 145-150 lbs feels more manageable ... but maybe that's because I haven't weighed 130 lbs since I was 13.

Regardless of where I end up, the exciting news is that I'm doing it. I'm two months in, doing it right, feeling good about it and want to continue living this change. I will have to buy new clothes sometime soon. But that's part of the reward, right?

In one more month, I will visit the doctor to have my cholesterol levels checked again. Here's to hoping that my progress will eventually make me not require medication to regulate those levels.

I leave you with my favorite new recipe: cauliflower mash. John and I were both amazed at how great this dish turned out, and how similar it is to mashed potatoes. The same night I made this, I also tried two other new recipes: Tarragon Cream Chicken and Turnip Fries. Now, it's not that these other two recipes were subpar. The chicken was amazing and the turnip fries are a great alternative to the way I used to enjoy sweet potatoes. But the cauliflower mash is my favorite probably because (1) it surprised me so much (2) it is so easy and convenient and (3) I know I will make it again and again and again.

♥

kh

one year. month one.

I was asked by two people on Friday night "What happened to the blog?" Well, life happened. And then I forgot to write about it. I'm sorry! But, I'm still here, still living the "lifestyle change."

I will admit, I experienced some defeat after my last weigh-in post and didn't know how to begin to write about it ... so I just didn't. Which completely defeats the whole purpose of "an all-encompassing, informative log," I know. So, I weighed myself that Monday evening and saw the numbers 156.2. Either I accidentally transposed the numbers in my brain or the scale experienced a momentary glitch, because the next morning I woke up and wanted to again be encouraged by that lovely number -- and I saw 162. That still means I lost 12 lbs in two weeks and it makes more sense with the inches I measured that same evening. Regardless of the fact that I didn't post about it, I didn't let that defeat me. I've kept on going and am happy to share some new numbers again with you today. It's one day shy of exactly two weeks, but ... who's really counting?

05/30/10

Bust: 38.5"

Waist: 32.5"

Stomach: 37.5"

Hips: 41"

Thighs: 23"

Arms: 12"

Weight: 156.2 lbs

Yes, the weight is the exact same as I posted two weeks ago - the weight that was inaccurate for whatever reason I'll never know. So that means I've only lost about 6 lbs in these last two weeks, but I'll take it. Along with the 11.5 inches total lost! I still have yet to incorporate exercise regularly, which I know will help get me going again. And I also had one weekend of living large, throwing low-carb out the window.

Last weekend, John and I celebrated our first anniversary. I cheated all weekend -- and paid for it by the time Sunday rolled around, with the stomach pains back and feeling overall lethargic and disgusting. (The way I used to feel on a weekly basis.) But the food! Oh, the food was delicious. We visited my friend Chef Dean Fearing at his restaurant, Fearing's, at The Ritz-Carlton in Dallas and we ate like kings. It was a truly amazing weekend getaway with my husband that we both needed.

We were both able to 100% surprise one another with our gifts ... it's been a while since that happened for us! John ordered me this amazing Kurt Halsey print - the biggest print of my collection thus far. It's even more amazing in person. I have NO idea how he kept it a secret - he's that kind of gift giver ... The kind that can't contain excitement and must-give-gift-now! But, he held it in. Because he loves me and knows that I want the gift on the appropriate day - not a moment before.

And I got John tickets to see The Beach Boys - the concert is tonight in Shreveport. So, here in just a few short hours, we'll be heading out to see a band that has influenced him musically in the biggest of ways. I know it's not the original group of guys, but I still think it will be a neat experience to share.

I will leave you with another dessert recipe - one that I couldn't survive this diet without. I'll call it a chocolate mousse. You mix 2 T heavy cream to 1 T cocoa powder and one packet of a sugar substitute such as Splenda. This is just one serving but it is so rich and yummy that I couldn't eat the whole serving at once. However, I make up about five servings at a time so it lasts all week, and after lunch I can just grab a spoonful on my way out the door to satisfy my sweet tooth. You can also mix in vanilla extract, coconut extract or instant coffee for a mocha version that is extra delicious and helpful when I need a mid-day boost.

♥
kh

units & increments

The Atkins Diet starts with Phase I: Induction. The minimum period of time to remain in Phase I is two weeks, but most choose to stay longer depending on how much weight is left to lose. I officially started Atkins (the low-carb lifestyle change) on Monday, April 26. Today marks two weeks.

Last week was so busy with work that I was unable to take my measurements on Monday, so I decided to wait until the two week mark for that. I hopped on the scale some mornings, though not daily. And today I am glad that I chose to monitor the diet this way because boy, did I have a nice little surprise!

On Friday, I reported that I had officially hit the 10 lb. marker, weighing in at tenths over 163 lbs. I started, as you may recall, at 174 lbs. I took my measurements this evening around 7:00 p.m. - hours after lunch and before dinner. I took the original measurements around the same time two weeks ago.

05/10/10

Bust: 41"

Waist: 32.5"

Stomach: 39"

Hips: 42"

Thighs: 24"

Arms: 13"

Weight: 156.2 lbs

I was in shock when I stepped on the scale and saw those numbers. Because I did that after I took the measurements, and yes I noticed it was an inch here and there which I was pleased with, but I did NOT expect the first numbers to be a "1" and "5," respectively. I was giddy with excitement.

So, in two weeks, I lost 4.5" and 18 lbs. I'm not entirely sure where those 18 lbs. went ... I notice a change in the way my clothes fit, yes - but not what I would expect 18 lbs. to feel like. Regardless of what I think, the numbers don't lie. I'm still feeling great. And I have yet to truly incorporate exercise on a regular basis! That's coming next...

Over the weekend and today I was beginning to feel discouraged because I have been surrounded by Sweet Potato Smashfries, Chili's chips and queso, KFC biscuits - things I would have loved to inhale into my belly. But that's where I was going wrong. And because I did not do what habit wanted me to, I did not endure one stomach ache, nor one WHY-DID-I-EAT-SO-MUCH-I-WANT-TO-DIE feeling. Just because I miss carbs doesn't mean I want them back in my diet. And don't get me wrong - I enjoy what I'm eating. It fills me up and tastes pretty good. It does what food should do.

For Mother's Day, I made the Decadent Chocolate Cake that's allowed in Phase I. I do realize this was a bit of a selfish gift, but I wanted to be able to share a bit of what I'm doing. It's not melt-in-your-mouth delicious, but it was better than what most "diet" desserts probably are. I served it up with a dollop of whipped cream, sweetened with a smidge of Splenda.

The moral of the story? I am beyond happy with where I am. I know the weight will not continue to fall off as easily as it has over the past two weeks. And I know that once I do hit my goal weight, it's staying there that will be the biggest battle. But I just need to remember that the way I'm feeling is worth it - and the fleeting taste of that biscuit and the baskets of chips are not.

♥

kh

ten for ten

I am excited to announce that I have officially lost over 10 lbs! Following this "lifestyle change" hasn't been the easiest thing I've ever done, but it also hasn't been as difficult as I first thought it may be. Yes, when John and I go out to eat the waiter sits the bread or chips down in front of me, I want to bite his head off and say, "DON'T YOU KNOW THIS IS TORTURE!"

But, I think it's helping me to have to sit there and face said item and make the decision not to eat it. Just like with the ice cream cake last week. And the cupcakes this week. This is a choice.

And I have to say, while I do miss the crunch of chips and my morning half-a-bagel, I am feeling stellar. I occasionally stand up too fast and get a smidge dizzy, but I have yet to experience even the slightest of stomach aches and pains that used to plague my life daily. And that, my friends, is totally worth it.

The newest issue of BSCENE Magazine will hit the streets next week and I really couldn't be more excited. It is the first full issue in my new role as Production Manager, which I am loving. John doesn't even know who is on the cover or what the cover story is about -- it's that under wraps and totally amazing! Everyone grab the next issue, officially on the racks Wednesday!

♥
kh

a new direction

I was diagnosed with high cholesterol at age 17 and up until now I have chocked it up to genetics. After recent months of stomach pains, overall feeling lousy and gaining weight, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor, determined to come up with a way to make myself feel better. I have ended up with "The New Atkins for a New You" book and have dived straight in to this new lifestyle change, encouraged by the support of my husband and family.

Because I want to document this journey for myself ... And because I dislike documenting in a hand-written journal because I write so furiously my hand hurts ... I have decided to revamp the direction of this blog and make it about this. I will share weekly updates, recipes and more about what I'm learning from the book and through this process.

4/22/10

Weight: 174 lbs.

Cholesterol: 242

LDL: 164 HDL: 60

Triglycerides: 88

I did not commit to starting the Atkins plan until Sunday - so that's when I took my initial measurements:

4/25/10

Bust: 42"

Waist: 34"

Stomach: 40"

Hips: 42"

Thighs: 25"

Arms: 13"

** I'm sharing this information not because I really want it known to the world that I'm 40+ lbs overweight, but because I want this to be an all-encompassing, informative log for anyone out there who is possibly on the same journey -- or considering something similar. To hold myself accountable, I will say that my goal weight is 130 lbs. I know I won't have drastic changes each week. I'm sure at some point I will hit a plateau. But I am determined to get there.

Sunday night, I made a delicious Thai Coconut Curry Chicken served over Cauliflower Rice that turned out beautifully. It was not only my first meal ever to cook with onions -- but I also ate them!

Monday was rough. I didn't realize how much the change in diet would affect my whole body - and so quickly - but I felt weak and highly irritable. I weighed myself Tuesday morning: 168 lbs. I understand that it's mostly water weight and that weight naturally fluctuates a few pounds, but I was very encouraged to see that number so quickly drop! I weighed Wednesday morning: 165 lbs.

I had my first true test of commitment on Wednesday afternoon. It was a staffer's birthday and I walked into the conference room, and there sat a beautiful ice cream cake, in all of it's sugary-sweet glory. At first I was delighted - that's habit kicking in - and then it hit me that I couldn't eat it. And it wasn't so much that I couldn't eat it because of "the rules," but that eating even a bite would be a digression from what I am trying to teach my body. I know how sugary, carb-loaded foods make me feel, and I don't want them. It's a decision. It's not forced.

The book does a fantastic job of explaining the process of how our bodies process what we consume, and reading that information has made me aware that yes, it is genetic how my body processes food. But it's up to me to make the decision what food I give it to process.

Today, I made Creamy Crab Dip and a Raspberry Mousse for a Sunday School social because I knew that my options at the pot-luck would be limited. I first found the recipe for the dessert in the book, and the only difference between the book's method and the linked method is the cream. I used heavy whipping cream. This is a sugar-free, delicious dessert that I will make again! The crab dip is also fabulous. I do miss the fact that I didn't eat it with bread or crackers of some sort, but soon enough I will be able to slowly reintroduce these types of food with a new mindset.

I am learning new ways to eat. Breaking old habits. Trying new foods. (I have since eaten onion - again.) I bought celery and lettuce and an artichoke - things I never would have bought before. I am loving my new breakfast of bacon and eggs, snacking on cheese and avocado and learning how to incorporate food I enjoy into this new way of life.

♥

kh

naptime isn't just for kids

I love naps. I could nap any day, any time, anywhere.

Put me in a car for longer than 20 minutes - I nap. Sunday afternoons post-Don Juan's visit - heavenly nap. Pop in a movie - if it doesn't hold my attention, I nap. I even snag the occasional nap during my lunch break.

But there is one downside to my napping: the impending drool.

One of my most favorite nap-related memories involves my dear husband, John. I had fallen asleep on his arm or chest, I can't remember, and what woke me up? The pile of drool that had accumulated. I realized what I had done, sat up and looked at him and apologized. He said he had already noticed, but didn't want to wake me up.

I love my husband and I love naps.

♥
kh

try, try again

Well, that didn't go as planned.

Turns out, it's not easy to blog once a day when you don't even have a personal computer at home. It's a sad story, but my iBook died a few weeks (months?) back ... hard drive failure. I haven't seen the need nor had the funds to replace it. John has a Netbook as well as a desktop computer (used mostly for recording) that I can access when necessary. I have my Droid Eris (most favorite phone ever) and a work computer that occasionally comes home with me.

There are so many things we "need" to spend money on, from credit card payments to home maintenance, but right now we are barely make the minimums. Any excess spending is out the door. But then John's mother and sister's whole family announce they have purchased plane tickets to Germany for two weeks at the end of July. And what do I want to do? Figure out how to make it happen. What do I need to do? Anything to make it happen.

What do I have to do to make this happen?

♥

kh

failure is not an option, pt. 2

Exactly 10 months since my last post. Pathetic. I had a plan on what my first post back would be, but then that plan fell through. I postponed posting because I wanted to come back with a bang. With news. A big announcement. But no such luck.

So I come back to do what I intended to do in the first place ... to write about my life. To not hold back. To hold myself accountable to what used to be a passion of mine - writing for fun.

I am setting a goal: I will blog each day for the next 30 days.

It seems unthinkable at the moment, that I am giving myself an ultimatum on something that I should enjoy. But I have a premonition that if I just do it, I will get back in the habit of enjoying it.

For today's quality content, I present to you a haiku I accidentally wrote yesterday on twitter:
"Weeds grow too fast. Pollen covers everything. Yay spring."

♥
kh

because Dooce did it...

DOOCE posted this "meme" about herself & her husband, Jon. Although I've never seen or heard the word "meme," I trust her that it's real. Thus, I will answer about myself & my John.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

What are your middle names?
Karli Elizabeth. John Eric. He has a good, strong, manly name. But can you imagine calling a little baby "John?"

How long have you been together?
March 2007. We're vowing forever on May 23, 2009.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Actually, John and I share the same birthday week. July 5 and 7, so a mutual friend had a joint birthday party for us in 2006. But you see... I had never met John. We took a picture together with our birthday cake on it that read "Happy Birthday Karli & John!" and that was all I knew about him for another six to eight months.

Who asked whom out?
Said mutual friend did most of the grunt work to get him ask me out. We're both what you call SHY and AWKWARD. I remember a few AIM conversations and myspace bulletins dancing around the subject and then it finally happened.

How old are each of you?
I turned 21 this year. John, 23. We both seem older because we are happy and settled. It's a good thing.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
I see my sister at least once a week. We see his sister once every few months.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
His passion is music. He is THE most talented musician I know and more than anything, I want him to pursue his dreams and be successful, but the life of a musician's wife is not an easy one. Not because I can't trust him - that's far from the problem. It's hard on me just because I miss the pants out of him. A close second situation is posed by my desire to keep all emotions in, but I'm trying to be better.

Did you go to the same school?
I graduated from All Saints. John, from Mabank High School. He attended TVCC, TJC and UT Tyler. I attended TCU, Lake Forest and UT Tyler. I graduated from UT Tyler in December. He has yet to finish. (Goes back to that whole music thing.) I win!

Are you from the same home town?
I grew up in Chandler. John, in Tool. Yes - Tool, Texas. It's real. Both are small, East Texas towns. It's a wonder we are who we are because of that.

Who is smarter?
John can listen to a song and tell you more than you ever wanted to know about the instruments, how it was produced, blah blah blah. I don't even know what all he can tell you. But school ... not his forté. Me? I love school. I miss it a tiny smidge. It just always came easy to me.

Who is the most sensitive?
I'm sensitive about weird, random things, like why didn't insert name like my dessert?! As far as our relationship goes, John takes the cake on sensitivity.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
We used to love Olive Garden, but that's another entry for another day. We've recently made it a point to eat local. Our most favorite restaurant is Villa Montez. It's delicously delightful Latin food at a fabulous price.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Together, we've traveled Texas. That horrendous attempt-of-a-camping-trip to central Texas... That's another story, too. I went to Mexico soon after we started dating, but it was too soon to invite him. In retrospect, I wish I would have.

Who has the craziest exes?
John doesn't have any exes, per se. Ex-interests, but none too crazy. My exes aren't particularly crazy, either. One is just a bad person on whom I wasted far too much time and emotion.

Who has the worst temper?
John is one of the most laid back men that I know; however, when his switch gets flipped, it's ooonnnnn. I've only triggered the flip of that switch a handful of times, and no me gusta.

Who does the cooking?
I seem to have taken over that department. When we first started dating, he was all about cooking. He made turkey burgers, yummy potatoes, fish, salsa... I wonder what happened.

Who is the neat-freak?
Because her answer fits perfectly...
DOOCE: "Let's just put it this way: I am a much nicer person when he puts away his socks."

Who is more stubborn?
Sadly, me. I didn't realized this until recently.

Who hogs the bed?
JOHN! I remember specifically waking up last night and realizing the tiny sliver of the bed to which I still laid claim. I asked in my sweet, sleepy voice for him to please move over. Then he gave me another inch.

Who wakes up earlier?
I have to be at work every morning early in the morning, and because of that, I can't even sleep in on weekends. However, this early bird gets to wake up and see 6'3" John stretched out, arms spread, mouth agape, relishing in his morning slumber. It's one of my favorite parts about the morning. He's just too cute.

Where was your first date?
He came to my apartment, STRANGER THAN FICTION in hand. I had cookies in the oven to bake, but forgot about them and my cute apartment smelled like burnt cookies upon his arrival.

Who is more jealous?
Seeing as John is in a band that attracts masses of girls, I say I do very well to keep jealousy at bay. Although most of them are underage, there have been a few to bring it out of me. I trust John with all my heart, it's the girls that worry me. Girls can be manipulative tricks.

How long did it take to get serious?
I never dated for the sake of dating, and neither did he. Three months in, I knew he was a keeper.

Who eats more?
I require breakfast, lunch and dinner. Miss any of the three and, well....I don't. I get too irritable. For this reason, I keep snacks around always. But John, on the other hand, never eats breakfast and is fine with a late lunch. He can also sit down with a bag of chips and bowl of salsa and down it within a half hour. He does better these days, but it's still a bad habit.

Who does the laundry?
Me me MEEEE! I'm particular about what gets washed with what, what gets dried and what doesn't. So, yes, I do the laundry. It helps that I don't mind it. I like folding clothes.

Who's better with the computer?
For me, a computer is a music library and communication device. For John, his computer is for recording, gaming and so much more.

Who drives when you are together?
Living in East Texas, driving is an integral part of daily life. We both drive alot, often. But when together, we alternate pretty evenly, Mostly, I prefer him to drive - unless I need to get somewhere specific, quickly. Then I take the reins.

♥k

target who?

Homelessness is a serious problem. Period, the end, no question about it.
I do not in any way intend to make light of a serious problem.

However....
Today at work I received an email:
"ARE YOU HOMELESS?
If so, we need YOU to participate in a survey...
Each participant will receive a meal, a free goodie bag full of hygiene products and more..."

You get the picture.

I laughed out loud. Because why the heck would you send out an email if your target is homeless? I didn't get it. I still don't.

Do you?

♥k

debut the kayak

The new BSCENE Magazine hit the racks today. It's smaller, it's thicker, it's pretty and it's chock full of editorial content written by yours truly. We logged countless hours on this particular issue because of all the changes. A mere three days before press time, we were at the office around 60 hours. We worked, ordered in food, worked more and went home to sleep a few hours only to repeat the process. Deadline day, we spent a straight 23 hours on final corrections.

My secret? I loved it. I love trying to catch each and every mistake and seeing the magazine transform from a sea of ads to something we're proud of. The owner said she didn't remember the last time she was actually excited to debut a new issue. I love being part of something that generates excitement and the people are truly fun to work with.

I only wish there was a little more comfort in the paychecks. With the status quo around here, more would be nice. I guess more would always be nice... But it's better to love your job.

As the saying goes, you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

♥k

degrees & deadlines

I'm officially a college graduate of The University of Texas at Tyler, Class of Fall 2008. Bachelor of Arts in Journalism - Cum Laude, bitches.

I don't think the reality that I never have to take another class again (if I so choose) has yet to sink in. I'll have plenty of deadlines looming over my head from work, so at least I won't have those to miss. And we have deadlines, a plenty.

Speaking of, work is going swimmingly. I very much enjoy my fellow employees and the job is just fun. I write, I design, I lay out, I edit, I photograph, I interview, I meet and greet and smile and have fun. What more could I ask for in a job?

John gets back tomorrow and ICANNOTWAIT. He's been gone since Dec. 5, but it feels like he left a month ago. The time has passed slowly and quickly at the same time. I've had lots to keep me busy, but I do miss his company waysoverymuch, especially when night time rolls around. I'm not so fond of sleeping alone in my new house. But at least I have Oswald to protect me.

Too bad he didn't hear those punks stealing my camera and iPod out of my car last week........They must have been stealth ninjas. Jerks.

It just doesn't feel like Christmas. Anyone else agree?

♥k

(re)sendoff

John left with the band for New York around 1:30 a.m. this morning. Last night. Whatever.

I helped him pack, which helped me hide a surprise in the midst of the shirts and undies. But damn it if he didn't keep trying to take over packing that bag and ruin my fun. NO JOHN, I'LL DO IT. You just sit there and relax! Oh, hidden motives...

I was spouting off a mental checklist and jokingly included, "Got your guitar?" He's going to RECORD AN ALBUM. He was all, oh yeah, they're in the other room - we'll get them. The minutes passed quickly and it was time to roll out. We said our goodbyes and I walked back in from the freezing cold. I wasn't expecting to cry. He's doing what he was born to do. He's doing something that has so much potential to make our life together ever better. But the tears just welled up out of nowhere. Luckily, he didn't see them. I watched them drive away through the blinds and sat down with Oswald to cry.

Not even ten minutes later, the phone rings. "Aw, he's already calling me!" Not so much. Instead: "We forgot the guitars."

♥k

tiny vessels

Yesterday I wore a turtleneck to work. Today I wore a scarf to work. I can hardly tolerate when my hair gets long enough to touch my neck, much less clothing. So there's only one thing this means: a blemish on my neck that screams of my indiscretions.

Why must they be so socially unacceptable? It's just like a bruise, really. Or a blood blister. But it's the story behind the imperfection that's enough to make folks blush.

A longtime friend of mine came over tonight to hang out while John was busy practicing with the band. We decided to go to PetsMart because Oswald needed food. She ended up carrying the bag out for me because that's how she rolls. Then we went to Double Dave's for some pizza rolls. After bickering about who would pay, we finally ordered and I carried our drinks to the table.

We walked to the salad bar together and while waiting on her to get started, I happened to look at the male employees who were looking at us with big grins on their faces.

I was so tired of the stupid scarf from earlier today, I decided to just deal with the embarassment of having a hickey on my neck. And now the male employees at Double Dave's totally have the wrong impression of who put it there.

♥k

muchas gracias

We're finally close enough to moved in that last night we slept at our new house! It feels magnificently wonderful to know that this house is our house and there are no roommates or upstairs or downstairs neighbors where I curse their every move or worry about mine. There's still work to be done. At a house that is mine, I'm assuming there will most always be work to be done. I'm OK with that. I'm ready to garden and clean and keep this house in tip-top shape.

John and I have taken a break from working this morning and decided to turn on the TV. The first channel on was playing The National Dog Show and we've been enthralled for the last hour. Maybe more. At least it's not trashy entertainment on VH1 that we usually enjoy.

Today I'm thankful for my new house, my lovely fiance, my cute puppy, my family and friends; showers and baking and delicious food and the list goes on.

♥k

face the facts

All I want right now is to be done with school. I've been more than unorganized and apathetic through this last semester and it's driving me insane. I'm almost embarassed of the work I turn in, but I can't seem to care.

But here's the kicker: Come January, when it's typically time for school to start back up, I won't know what to do with myself. Sure I'll have a wedding to plan and a job and a house to keep, but I've been doing that this semester. I'm used to being busy. It's comfortable, in a way.

What will I do when I don't have a paper deadline looming over my head? I just might go crazy. I took three summer classes in one session this past summer, and worked at the same time. When it was over, I was definitely relieved, but I had so much free time on my hands, it was just...weird. I've always been that way. Summer was much anticipated and enjoyed, but I was very ready for school again by August. So call me crazy.

It doesn't help that John will be touring most of the coming months, so I really need to come up with some new hobbies. I'm excited to read for fun again. I'll try to pick my knitting back up. I'll have my piano finally, so that will be nice. But, things like that tend to stress me out when I can't do them perfectly. Any suggestions on how you spend your free time off work?

Also, my new kitchen needs a backsplash. I'm pretty excited about this prospective DIY opportunity, but I want to be sure and find the perfect idea. I've come across a few that I like, but I'd love some links if you have any to share.

♥k